


Five problems Geri has with the love life of Lionel Messi (plus some unexpected sympathy from the devil)

by yulin



Series: Mushy Leo [1]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-28 19:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16248488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yulin/pseuds/yulin
Summary: Geri shouldn’t really be angry if Leo is telling him that he actually managed to build up an attempt of having a proper relationship. He would jump and scream with joy in any other circumstances. If only he weren't dating Cristiano.





	1. The prequel (part one)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MessiFangirl (hpdm4ever)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpdm4ever/gifts).



> This is mostly a fic about Geri and Leo friendship. But cressi fans won't be disappointed if they bear with me until the end ;)

It was a manager’s idea: it was not possible to have professors with the kids the whole time on a trip, but they knew how a savage a bunch of fourteen years old could be when left alone at night in a foreign place.

 

So, they sent a senior student to stay in their room with them, and they chose wise, calm Iniesta. What they didn't realise was that class of 1987 was too savage. Or maybe that Iniesta was too quiet. In any case, the point was that there was a bunch of over-excited teenagers that had just won a match, and had all the intentions of celebrating it properly. Alcohol was involved. Stupid games like truth or dare were involved. The combination of the two results in Leo dancing half-naked on a tea table, cheered on by half of the team. Cesc has been locked outside on the balcony, for half an hour now. And Andrés stands there, with the face of a man who is dealing with a very, very bad headache.

 

Geri felt almost pity for him. Almost. Well, at least he managed to involve him in the game, and it wasn't his fault if he wasn't having the best of time with that. Anyway, it ended up that as part of the game, Andrés was asked to say how he would define Geri.

 

Geri had hoped for something like "funny" or "natural leader".

 

He was expecting something on the line of "annoying" or "natural disaster". 

 

Maybe "tall".

 

Andrés surprised him entirely when he looked at him intensely, his lips curved in an indulgent smile. The kind of smile of the old, wise martial art teachers in films. 

 

"Truthful. Loyal." That was what he said. Geri felt like he had been just assigned his quest in life.

 

Loyalty to Barcelona FC. Loyalty to Catalonia.Loyalty to his friends. Geri has never let these linchpins of his life down. 

 

But his principles are strained when Lionel Messi tells him about Cristiano.

 

Ok, let's start from the beginning. Leo's relationship with relationships is complicated. Leo's beyond shy. In normal conditions, the poor guy is acting like even saying a single word is causing him physical pain. If there’s somebody he’s vaguely attracted to in the room, he stays attached to a wall, illuminating the entire room with the brightness of the red on his face. And it's really better if he doesn't speak, because if he tries he can only emit a sort of whining that increases in tone to a sort of high-piercing meowing. 

 

In reality, there is a way: drinking. Drinking so much to that he’s actually stoned. A drunk Leo is actually very funny to see. He is a happy drunk: the one who sings, and dances, and endlessly talks. Geri has never seen him fighting or vomiting in public. This Leo Geri likes.

 

But.

 

A drunk Leo -without too much turnover and without any intention of being offensive- is, basically, a slut. He would rub against his current love interest without shame, blinking his best puppy eyes, and letting things happen. If he is refused, basically he would accept any advances of another random boy.

 

Geri has always been worried about his behaviour. He has never liked it a bit. He really feels that people are taking advantage of Leo, but Leo has always assured him that he was fine, that it was what exactly what he wanted.

 

Except, it wasn't true. Geri knows it too well, Leo is someone that grows fond of people, who likes to trust and be trusted. Someone that likes deep bonds, and lives for confidences murmured in the darkness of the night. Geri has always suspected that what Leo is settling with what he can gets, which is at least having some physical pleasure because he can’t get what he really wanted. Especially as he couldn't even have a proper conversation with someone that he likes.

 

So, that brings them to Cristiano.

 

Geri shouldn’t really be angry if Leo is telling him that he actually managed to build up an attempt of having a proper relationship. He would jump and scream with joy in any other circumstances. If only he weren't dating Cristiano.


	2. The First Problem

**Five problems Geri has with the love life of Lionel Messi**

  
****

 

Ok, Cristiano has been a very good friend to Geri in the past. So, it shouldn't be a big issue for him: Leo and Cristiano together. If only… well, there was one problem. Or, worse, five problems

 

 

**The First Problem. Cristiano is egocentric.**

 

Cristiano had always been a good boy, Geri couldn't deny it and he wouldn't. But, like everybody, had his Idiosyncrasies. One of them was, for sure, his narcissism. He liked himself, he liked what he did in football, and he liked whatever he decided to do outside football as well. Let's face it: there were not that many players who decided to create an entire brand based on their name. 

 

That'd be totally fine if only…

 

That day, everyone was having a happy day in Barcelona. They had just won against Atletico Madrid and that was enough reason for being happy. More than that: as expected, everybody was covered in bruises and scratches, but there weren't any serious injuries, so really it had been a great match. 

 

In the dressing room, everybody was cheering, laughing, and dancing. Geri was doing all three of them as usual. An eye was on Leo, as always. Because the maximum level of autonomous celebration, for Leo, was a satisfied smile while he kept doing what he was doing (stripping off his kit,showering, driving home). And, as always, Geri was the one with the task of pulling out the broomstick that Leo had stuck up his ass.

 

Usually, Geri was terribly good at it—getting Leo to celebrate. He didn't even need alcohol anymore: he just needed to hug him, and maybe lift him, spinning him in the air like he would have done with Milan, and…

 

That day he stayed there, frozen, half a meter away. Jordi and Sergio, the ones who were the closest ones to Geri, stopped their celebration as well. A silent Geri -in a sense- was noisier than a volcano erupting. Intrigued, they followed Geri’s gaze and then, the temperature of the room lost several degrees as they stayed stuck as dried cods. This created a domino effect, and now half of the team was looking at a semi-naked Leo.

 

"I think I feel sick," Ivan murmured. 

 

"Oh, Leo!" Geri exclaimed, his arms falling down at his side.

 

A very confused Leo looked back at them from his locker room with his bathrobe half open. 

 

Behind Geri, someone started giggling, followed by someone else. Ivan indeed went to the bathroom. 

 

"What?" Leo exclaimed, now extremely self-conscious, and extremely red.

 

"Well, I guess he wanted to mark his territory," Jordi said, trying very hard not to giggle. And failing, by the way. 

 

Lionel looked down at his body, and now Geri suddenly wondered how many of those bruises were due to the match. But the point wasn't even that. The point was that Lionel was only dressed in underwear.

 

CR7 ones, to be precise.

 

His face now had the red alarm of a Lionel Messi in desperate times. "Oh… well… yes… he asked me…"

 

"ENOUGH!" Geri shouted over the laughs of the room. "Just go and have your shower for God's sake!"

 

"But…"

 

Before Leo could make himself even more ridiculous, Geri mercifully grabbed and then literally threw him into the shower.

 

Geri couldn't imagine that that was only the beginning of his nightmares.


	3. The Second Problem

**The Second Problem: Leo is like a teenager with his first crush.**

 

Well, it had been a long time since Leo was a teenager. But the point really didn't change.

 

Everything started the night Geri risked his life. It was 11.55, and he was in the room with Leo in A Coruña where they were going to play a match the next day.

 

He only had 5 minutes. And his mobile was nowhere to be seen. He patted his trousers, checked the bedside table, looked through the desk in the room. He could feel his life flowing away like the sand making time in an hourglass.

 

"What's up?" asked Leo.

 

Geri turned around to reply to him. Leo was on the bed, and in his hands, there was the magic wand that could save Geri's life. He was fiddling with his mobile.

 

"Give it to me!"

 

"What?!" Leo asked, but he couldn't even finish the sentence before being run over by a very goofy, but very determined and, above all, very jumping on his bed, Geri.

 

"What are you doing?!" Leo tried to protest. And maybe even breathe, pressed as he was by that enormous body that his best friend received as a gift -or a curse. Definitely a curse for Leo- by mother nature. Indeed, breathing would have been fantastic. "You're squeezing me!" he wheezed.

 

"Your mobile! Leo, it's a matter of life or death."

 

"Yes! You're killing me here," Leo said, but still, he was cradling his mobile against his chest, protecting it from Geri's fury.

 

"You don't understand, Leo! Today's our anniversary and if I don't call Shaki in… shit! Three minutes!"

 

"It's not my fault!" Leo shouted, trying to roll away. It was useless: Geri's legs were just too long and they managed to surround him and keep him where he was. "Why don't you use your mobile?"

 

"Don't know where it is," he replied, trying to sneak a hand between Leo's crossed arms, until finally, finally…

 

"Aha!" Geri shouted his victory, managing to tear the mobile out of Leo's grip, ignoring the whining complaints he received from his friend.

 

With relief, Geri immediately rose up from the bed, with his trophy in his hand. Leo was shouting about giving the mobile back, but it was easy to ignore his voice and to ignore him jumping on his back. He could still easily keep the mobile up out of his reach.

 

Geri obviously knew the number by heart, all he needed to know was wake the mobile and…

 

He was greeted by the smiling face of Ronaldo, with Leo kissing his cheek.

 

Geri froze.

 

Leo froze.

 

Then natural instincts kicked in, overcame Geri’s stomach sickness, and he managed to make the call that saved his life.

 

But still.

 

"You know," he was explaining to Suárez a week after, sitting next to him on the bench of the dressing room, just about to start training, "it's just that I don't understand those kind of couples. Like the need to keep seeing each other, even in pictures. Why? Are they really going to sigh of love at the picture of the other?"

 

"I know, man," Luis said gloomily, as he bent over to tie his laces.

 

"What's next? A common account on facebook?"

 

"Ugh!"

 

Geri sighed, looking for some kind of revelation as he stared at the spots of the ceiling. "But then at the end, I can't really complain, can I? In the end, it's his private mobile and I saw it only because I stole it…"

 

"Yeah," Luis said, but his voice seemed as if it were coming from the graveyard. "Maybe his mobile is private, but this was supposed to be for sharing."

 

Out of nowhere, he produced a thermos. Geri thought he knew it very well: it was the one that Leo and Luis shared to drink their horrible south American concoction. 

 

He remembered it differently, though.

 

It was now all entirely covered by pictures of Ronaldo. Ronaldo, Ronaldo, Ronaldo everywhere, occasionally smiling next to a disgustedly soppily smiling Lionel.

 

Geri would have never imagined that one day he could have been more disgusted by the container than the content of a mate tea. 


	4. The Third Problem

**The third problem: Cristiano Ronaldo is a Real Madrid player.**

 

Geri had learnt the lesson. No more peeping at Leo's mobile. Or thermos, his overnight bag, his wallet, his mug… ok, Leo liked to have his boyfriend's pictures here and there, it was not exactly what Geri would have liked to see but it was not really his business. The solution was easy: mind his own business. And thank the Lord that he wasn't in the mate club.

 

At least, it was not like Leo was attaching pictures of Cristiano all over the wall of the dressing room. He stuck to his personal space.

 

But still.

 

There were some lines that a Barça player should never ever cross. It's like… you can't bring ice to a desert, can you? Or a penguin. That poor little cute thing would die in dreadful pain, just because you wanted to put it in the wrong place. And don't even start to think about… who knows? An elephant in the air. Certain things need to be separated or the entire world can collapse. Like obviously you would not bring a picture of Satan in a church.

 

This was Geri’s firm belief. He didn't really need to question it, so he didn't even need to fear it. 

 

And that's why his defence was lowered. No. Non-existent, really.

 

When it happened, Geri's breath remained stuck, the world spinning around for a few seconds. He was actually expecting to see the said world upside down. That would be the only reasonable motive to explain what he could see.

 

That day -by chance- Geri and Leo arrived almost at the same time at training. Geri was already dressed, and he turned to see if Leo was ready, and he was, he had just finished changing and was about to close the locker. 

 

But the locker was still open…

 

And so Geri could see…

 

Inside it…

 

Attached… 

 

Geri has somehow come to terms with soppy pictures of Lionel and Cristiano smiling and kissing. But there, there was, in all its ugliness, a Real Madrid jersey INSIDE the Barcelona dressing room.

 

Well, it wasn't a real jersey. That would be too much, even for Leo, wouldn't it?

 

But pictures of Cristiano with his Real Madrid jersey, number 7 in evidence, as he stood in his typical celebrating position. That. Was. Too. Much.

 

"What the hell, Leo!" he said, and he hated the high-pitched tone in his voice.

 

Lionel inclined his head, confused. "What?" the fool asked.

 

"That… that…" Geri tried to point out, but his finger was trembling too much, so his indignation could have been equally directed to Lionel's hair or the trash bin.

 

The confusion in Lionel's eyes increased, but it shouldn’t have really. It should be so evidently wrong, goddammit.

 

Fortunately, Sergio was there and could give a proper verbal substitute to the stuttered bleating that was the only thing that Geri's throat could emit. 

 

"Geez, Lionel, we get that you are so in love, but really? Pictures of Real Madrid celebrating inside our dressing room?"

 

Leo still dared to look confused for some time before some kind of realization slowly came to his brain and was shown on his face. "Oh, that," he said, shutting the locker door.

 

"Well, it's a nice picture and Cristiano was so happy."

 

"Yeah, but Real Madrid inside Barça's temple? Couldn’t you have chosen a picture in civvies?" Suárez tried to knock some sense into him.

 

"Just any other one," Neymar giggled.

 

"Oh," Leo said, "come on. Like this is a big deal. I love Barça, but let's not being superstitious about this, ok? It's not like the stadium is going to catch on fire if a Real Madrid jersey comes in here…"

 

"Well, Leo, I think that…" Andrés started to say with his gentle tone, before being interrupted by an overly amused Neymar.

 

"Hang on. Do you actually mean there is a Real Madrid jersey here?"

 

"No, I was speaking out of the metaphor," Leo tried to justify himself. But the colour on his cheeks was deceiving him. And Neymar was already digging in his bag.

 

"Ah-aah!" he exclaimed, raising his trophy.

 

A Real Madrid jersey, indeed. With the name of Leo written on it.

 

Again, Geri could only stare at it. Speechless.

 

"Jesus Leo. I hope this was a joke," Luis muttered.

 

"Well, it's not like I am going to wear it in a match, right?"

 

All of a sudden there was a long, weird silence in the dressing room. 

 

Nobody can help it. No matter if they want or not, the brains of all the Barça players were connected in a single network that was broadcasting images of when exactly Leo could wear it.

 

"Why, why from all the people in the world you had to choose a Madridista to fuck?" Geri's squeak broke the silence, but unfortunately not the images, giving the topic of discussion. 

 

Lionel only made it worse, feeling the sado(masochistic?) need to specify "Well, technically..."

 

"Don't you dare! DON'T.YOU.DARE.SAY.THAT. A Culè would never, EVER allow a Madridista to f... fu... ok, I am going to throw up," as Geri stormed away to the bathroom.

 

The room was silent again, apart from the weird noises from the bathroom.

 

"Could you at least avoid keeping the jersey here?" Andrés dared to ask, his eyes still fixed on the closed door.

 

There was a louder noise.

 

"I guess I can," Lionel said, with a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, those old gold times when CR7 was a Real Madrid player...


	5. The Forth Problem

**The fourth problem: Ronaldo has a terrible voice.**

 

…And the point is that Geri didn't really want to know that. Ever. And still…

 

It’s nice to catch up with Leo outside the training centre from time to time. It's not like they could do it very often, both being a little too recognisable, but that day it was raining a thin, misty rain and having a hoodie over a head was not so suspicious. They could walk on the streets of Barcelona, looking for a present for the Xavi’s upcoming birthday. The guy was terribly boring really and Geri had no idea of what they could buy. Even after all those years together!

 

"Maybe we can buy him a jazz LP?"

 

"Does he like jazz? I didn't know that," Leo looked up suspiciously.

 

"Neither do I for sure. But it sounds like a boring thing that a boring man could do.”

 

"Geri! We can't just go with whatever you find and think is boring," Leo complained with a smile, a hand in his pocket. "I'm going to call Ney. He has good ideas for presents."

 

"Oh yeah, how we could have not done that?" 

 

“We’re miserable failures…” Leo said, bringing the mobile to his ear. "Wait… oh, hello there! We need your help, man. Geri and I are out on the Xavi present mission and if you don't help us we'll end up with a dolly wearing the Barça crest… No, Geri, that is not a good idea! And *you*, stop laughing."

 

Geri was trying not to and putting up some argument. It was a good idea. At least he was reasonably sure that Xavi didn't already have one in the house. 

 

"What? Ok…" Lionel hung up and wedged the telephone in his pocket with some difficulties while messing with the umbrella. "He said he's going to check online and call us back," he said rolling his eyes as a rivulet fell from the inclined umbrella on his shoulder, "I think he might have an idea, eventually."

 

"Good, so we can go and drink some coffee. I'm freezing here."

 

"Yeah, agreed," Lionel said folding himself into his jumper. 

 

Indeed, it took only a few minutes. And then the present for Xavi was completely forgotten. The rain, the worry about the fans that could recognise them, the cold, the nice walk with Leo. All was erased at the most horrible sound that Geri had ever heard.

 

The ringtone of Leo's mobile was a song. A cheesy love song in Portuguese. Sang by someone with a voice that could carry a tune like a blind drunk cat could carry a lane.

 

"What the hell is that?!” he asked in disbelief.

 

“Neymar?" 

 

"That's not Neymar's voice,” Geri said, confused.

 

"No, I mean, Neymar's calling." 

 

"And I mean, what the hell is that tune."

 

Leo didn't reply, but he didn't need to. The clear embarrassment was speaking for him. 

 

Lionel had really recorded Cristiano singing a love song to him, and used it as a tune.

 

And Geri had to face, with horror, a future in which every time that someone was calling Leo… damn, even every time that he called Leo, if he's around, he would be forced to listen to that again.

 

… if only Cristiano were able to sing on tune.


	6. The Fifth Problem

**The Ultimate Problem: Leo is mushy.**

 

But Geri had to admit it: whatever Lionel decided to do, even if he was keeping a Real Madrid jersey with him all the time, like a personal version of Linus' blanket, he was doing it very privately. Maybe there were some controversial pictures, but they remained confined in Lionel's locker, and nobody really should say a word about that, if they want to be fair.

 

But unfortunately, Lionel was also a very supportive boyfriend. And Cristiano Ronaldo was already thinking about his future as a businessman after his career in football. And Ronaldo being Ronaldo, of course, the business was about himself. And this didn't help, at all.

 

They were traveling. It was quite a long trip from the Czech Republic, where they played their last Champions League match. They were all miserable and tired, really. 

 

Lionel was sitting next to Geri and he already looked a bit sleepy. It was cold and dark, that had to be said. So, there it wasn’t surprising that Leo found the need to get out a blanket from his bag. In fact, Geri half hoped that Leo would share it with him.

 

Totally hoped, really. He was quite chilly.

 

That was until Lionel spread the blanket out. And an enormous CR7 appeared just in front of Geri's nose.

 

"Oh my God, what's that?" Geri yelped, jumping out of the seat, away from the blanket.

 

"What?" Leo jumped as well, alarmed. He looked at the blanket and back to Geri, worry soon replaced by confusion. "What?" he repeated, "there is nothing there. What did you see?"

 

Geri was still looking to the blanket with crazy eyes. "That!" he managed to say, accusingly, finger pointing at the object of his outrage. 

 

It took some moments for Leo to realise, but when he did, he widened his eyes. "Is that a problem?" he gestured at the blanket. "I mean I thought you kind of got used to it. I thought the briefs were worst."

 

"Don't remind me that! I wanted to wash my eyes with bleach!"

 

"Ok," Lionel grinned at the stupidity of his friend, "but this is just a blanket and I am fully dressed here."

 

"Certainly, it's not you that’s the problem. That… that brand… Have you bought the entire product line?"

 

"Well…" Lionel blushed like a teenager whose secret diary has just been discovered by their mum. "They are all good quality items, you know? Even the perfume."

 

Geri's face froze. Even the perfume. That perfume that he noticed for some time now. And he’d thought it was good perfume! Geri had intended to ask Leo about the brand. And now he knows: even *that* is related to Ronaldo and now Geri will be reminded about him every time he smells it.

 

The underwear, the blankets, all of his personal belongings, the mobile, even the perfume. There was nothing of Leo’s that remained Ronaldo free, at that point.

 

"Enough!" Geri exclaimed, now too close to the breaking point to go back. "I can't do it. It has to be me or that." And with that, he grabbed the blanket and marched through the plane's corridor.

 

"Geri!!!"

 

The entire team burst out with screams while he tried to open the door of the plane. To throw the blanket or throw himself? Nobody knows. For sure: it would have killed everybody on that flight.

 

It took someone bulky like Luis' to tackle Geri down to the closest seat, which happens to be Neymar's.

 

"Don't be stupid, now, you know you can't open the door of a flying plane," Luis shouted at his ear, arms enfolding him to keep him still.

 

Geri got quiet, heavily breathing. "You're right," he said, looking steadily in front of him, to the floor where Neymar's little suitcase laid open.

 

Luis released him, feeling the giant body getting quieter in his arms. That is until Geri sprang upwards to the suitcase, grabbing the zippo that Neymar used to keep "just in case it's needed". 

 

"I am going to light it on fire it!!" Geri shouted with an over satisfied, maniac-like laugh. 

 

Luis was fast to tackle him again, but Busquets was even quicker, punching him on the head. "You stupid brat," he commented, unimpressed.

 

The rest of the team was shouting at him, horrified at the idea of starting a fire on a plane. Only Leo was quiet. Deadly quiet.

 

The plane fell silent when Leo marched toward Geri with the angriest look that anyone had ever seen on his face outside a pitch. Maybe even inside. He came right up to Geri, grabbed the blanket out Geri's hands, draped it around himself and marched back to his seat. The rustle of the fabric of the blanket obviously too long for him was the only audible sound, before a long, big sigh was released in the plane. 

 

Who did it, it was not clear. Probably, the entire Barcelona FC, coaches included.

 

Apart from Geri, who lifted his long legs and rested his feet on the seatback of the front seat, wrapping his arms around himself. His tantrum was far from being over.

 

A cold vent was remotely perceived on the back of Geri's brain (and on top of the risen hairs of his arms). Geri would have never admitted it, but there was a tiny subconscious thought of regretting having discarded the blanket.

 

But his conscious thoughts were entirely dedicated to what it was no longer possible to deny.

 

Geri was on the edge of crying. He couldn't take it. He loved Leo, really he did, but he couldn't bear it anymore. It was time for him to face it. Geri couldn't know -how could he? Leo had never had more than one-night stands.

 

But Geri had to admit it: Lionel Messi was mushy.

 

Terribly mushy.

 

One of the mushiest persons he ever met. 

 

And, as this was not bad enough, the object of this mushy love was nothing less than Cristiano Ronaldo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. It is of a common belief that Leo is cold-hearted. He doesn't show emotions or affection. Now, as I can prove here HE IS mushy. He sees Anto and the kids every day and feels the need of putting their pictures everywhere. Oh, Leo!


	7. Sympathy from the devil

**Misery loves company**

 

El Clásico has always been a different match for Geri. It was too important, for Barça, Barcelona, Catalunya. For the history of the two clubs, back from the very foundation of Barcelona FC and Real Madrid CF. Pumped by adrenaline. Proud. Despite how much harsh the game could have been, those were the feelings associated with El Clásico, in Geri's head and heart. Never fear.

 

Until that day.

 

And it was not exactly the match what was worrying him. But the idea of seeing Leo and Ronaldo together, live, for the first time. Seeing Leo all gleeful the days before. NOT seeing him at all the night before, and Geri could only wish that Leo hadn't been too stupid to drain himself completely over with his lovebird.

 

And yes, he knew he couldn't exactly show his distress while walking in the corridor. The plane accident had already put them on the edge. It cost Geri a chocolate cake made by the most renowned pâtissier in Barcelona to have Leo talk to him again.

 

So Geri just walked with a frown that he hoped was taken as an agonistic mask, and looked at Leo's back while he -for once- rushed to the top of the corridor, where Real Madrid players were already waiting.

 

Geri couldn't name exactly what he was worried about. A public sign of affection from the two of them? Would such professionals as them be so stupid?

 

Just… was he just scared to see too much happiness in Leo, something that he never thought would happen? Was Geri really so mean? So possessive of his affections?

 

He could have never imagined what he really needed to be worried about. 

 

It was all very quick. And Geri, afterwards, would have damned the security so hard that they couldn't even clean the bathrooms of Camp Nou, forget working for them.

 

A man managed to jump from the seats and was now confronting Leo. He was shouting at him the most horrible things about being retarded, a midget, a South American, and going on about the issues with the taxes. Geri jumped ahead as the guy was about to reach Leo, but he was sidetracked by someone bigger shouting much louder.

 

It was Cristiano, with a homicidal fury in his eyes as Geri had never seen before. Geri was taken aback, but fortunately, the security had awoken by then and managed to grab the guy and push him out. The problem is Cristiano equally needed to be taken ahold of if he didn't want to be on the headlines of all the newspaper for homicide, and Geri was just in time to feel the movement of air behind him to realise that he, as well, needed to grab Leo, who was recovering from his stupor and already ready to fight.

 

Geri felt lucky. Leo was sturdy, but he managed to keep him in place with his big frame. Keeping Cristiano still, apparently, was an effort that required half of the Real Madrid squad.

 

In the confusion that followed, among pushes and shouts, Leo was still ruffled but calmer, in the hands of Luis, and Cristiano was still shouting obscenities while being held by Benzema, but at least he seemed not to be no homicidal any longer. 

 

Geri found finally time to take a deep breath. Nothing serious happened. Leo was safe. And Geri had to admit, he had been impressed by Cristiano's reaction. He was expecting nothing less than protectiveness from the supposed partner in Leo's… affair (no way Geri could make himself to think of a different word. There were limits to an acceptance). 

 

Even a little too much, if Geri thought about it honestly. Yes, alright, Cristiano hadn't killed anyone, but there would be some questions in the press, about the vehemence of his reaction.

 

And, as if to echo Geri's thoughts, a voice near him mumbled in a thick Andalusian accent, "Well, fuck, it was obvious that this obsession would have created some problems sooner or later."

 

Geri turned around to face a concerned Ramos, who was frowning at the scene in front of them. Without looking at him, he kept talking. "I don't know how it’s been with Leo, but Cris has been a nightmare, for a month long. Leo this, Leo that, he can't talk about anything else. And don't get me started with the pictures. It's disgusting. A nightmare, I am telling you. And God knows how long he will be able to keep quiet when -because now it's a matter of when rather than if- he will be questioned about his overreaction today by the press."

 

Geri agreed. There might be problems there and he hoped that Cris could be able to act a bit. He had always been a tremendous actor, no matter what he thought about himself. So there would be some work that Real Madrid’s PR team would need to do. And Barça's safety would depend on that.

 

However, looking at Ramos, he couldn't help but smile. At least, he felt a bit less alone.

 

"I know, man, I know. Let me tell you some stories…"


	8. The epilogue

**Epilogue**

 

Luis puts down the mug, looking at the beautiful sun reflecting on Barcelona sea, visible from his veranda. "You, know, Ney. I am feeling kind of tired. I think I am patient. I definitely show more patience than Geri with the Cris and Leo affair. But just Geri, after all this fuss, now he dares to be all in that terrible lovebird mode with Ramos."

 

"Indeed," Neymar agrees, still chewing the straw of his coke. "You know, James was telling me exactly the same thing," he said, looking at his mobile as he was reading his messages.

 

Neymar, therefore, missed the pure glance of horror that Luis threw him. This was a horrible, infectious, deadly disease. No other explanation was possible. The end of the world just started and it all started with the weirdest Barça/Real Madrid bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of the first part of the story.  
> The last part is arriving soon :)

**Author's Note:**

> As always, many thanks to Messifangirl for the editing.


End file.
